Archive | March, 2012

Thank You

9 Mar

I am feeling thankful today. Kim has had two good days in a row where she is feeling stronger (in mind, body and spirit), we just wrapped up a nice long visit with family where we got a lot of help, and my work inbox got all the way down to empty – a first for the year even though I used to have an empty inbox at the end of every day. I thought I would use the blog today to write my thanks, not only to express gratitude but to give some perspective on how sometimes seemingly small acts of kindness can have a dramatic impact.

So thank you for:

  • Asking me how Kim and I are doing and taking the time to let me know you want the real answer.
  • Giving me the gift of normalcy when you let me attend a meeting, play pickup basketball or just hang out without talking about how I am doing.
  • The gift of time – we have had help from friends and family with the house, paperwork, managing mail, dispensing meds, laundry, shopping, cooking and a host of other chores that free me up to work, play with our son and save my energy so I can be the husband and father I want to be.
  • Thoughtful mementos that remind us that you care and are thinking of Kim – the lovely kirtan music we receive through facebook, the Banish Fear bracelets, the “Don’t Postpone Joy” sign, the flowers, cards, notes, texts, emails, pictures, care packages. They all brighten the moment, and the moment, after all, is really all we have.
  • Offers to help in any way you can
  • Offers to help that are incredibly specific like: I have an extra room if you have family visiting, I could help you make phone calls to clear up some insurance questions you have, or I want to help you build anything new you need for your house. Every time someone makes an offer like that I write it down in a spreadsheet to go back to when we are ready to take you up on it.
  • Keeping in touch and nurturing our friendship. We don’t do many of the social things that would keep us connected to our friends these days so reaching out and helping us stay connected to you is so very comforting.
  • Your offers of friendship. I recently connected with someone I hardly knew who was navigating a similar path and they very quickly said to me, “consider us friends. I’m not going anywhere.” – Think about what a gift that is to give someone. There are so many examples of people I barely knew who got closer to me when they saw I was struggling and offered their friendship.

In many ways this has been a time of my and Kim’s life that I would not wish on anyone, and yet it has been filled with love and grace and for that Kim and I are so very grateful.