Thank You

9 Mar

I am feeling thankful today. Kim has had two good days in a row where she is feeling stronger (in mind, body and spirit), we just wrapped up a nice long visit with family where we got a lot of help, and my work inbox got all the way down to empty – a first for the year even though I used to have an empty inbox at the end of every day. I thought I would use the blog today to write my thanks, not only to express gratitude but to give some perspective on how sometimes seemingly small acts of kindness can have a dramatic impact.

So thank you for:

  • Asking me how Kim and I are doing and taking the time to let me know you want the real answer.
  • Giving me the gift of normalcy when you let me attend a meeting, play pickup basketball or just hang out without talking about how I am doing.
  • The gift of time – we have had help from friends and family with the house, paperwork, managing mail, dispensing meds, laundry, shopping, cooking and a host of other chores that free me up to work, play with our son and save my energy so I can be the husband and father I want to be.
  • Thoughtful mementos that remind us that you care and are thinking of Kim – the lovely kirtan music we receive through facebook, the Banish Fear bracelets, the “Don’t Postpone Joy” sign, the flowers, cards, notes, texts, emails, pictures, care packages. They all brighten the moment, and the moment, after all, is really all we have.
  • Offers to help in any way you can
  • Offers to help that are incredibly specific like: I have an extra room if you have family visiting, I could help you make phone calls to clear up some insurance questions you have, or I want to help you build anything new you need for your house. Every time someone makes an offer like that I write it down in a spreadsheet to go back to when we are ready to take you up on it.
  • Keeping in touch and nurturing our friendship. We don’t do many of the social things that would keep us connected to our friends these days so reaching out and helping us stay connected to you is so very comforting.
  • Your offers of friendship. I recently connected with someone I hardly knew who was navigating a similar path and they very quickly said to me, “consider us friends. I’m not going anywhere.” – Think about what a gift that is to give someone. There are so many examples of people I barely knew who got closer to me when they saw I was struggling and offered their friendship.

In many ways this has been a time of my and Kim’s life that I would not wish on anyone, and yet it has been filled with love and grace and for that Kim and I are so very grateful.

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12 Responses to “Thank You”

  1. Pamela Brandt March 9, 2012 at 10:15 pm #

    Hi guys, thanks for sharing your journey. Lovely hearing from you. Kim I will be in touch with you this week regarding the reflexology and meditation. Looking forward to both.
    Namaste, Pam

  2. Jeanelle March 10, 2012 at 5:17 am #

    I love you both so much….and i am endlessly grateful for both of you in my life. the richness of life!

  3. Claudia March 10, 2012 at 9:42 am #

    John and Kim,
    Loved reading the new post. Updates are so great. I know for me, I don’t want to inundate you both with the “how are you?” questions but at the same time, I very much want to know and be involved in your lives. John, it was helpful to know what needs you have and ways to help.
    SO MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL!!!!!

  4. Ginny March 10, 2012 at 9:59 am #

    Thank you so much for sharing. Your trip has helped my atempt to get through a trip of my own. Kim has always been an encouragement and light to me. You, Kim and Jack are near to my heart and prayers. Love to you all……….

  5. Caroline Musselwhite March 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm #

    Thank you so much for being specific in telling us what is truly helpful. We all have people that we want to support, and can’t always figure out what will make a difference, so sometimes we hesitate and do nothing. These ideas give me so many more to help a friend whose son is back in ICU with multiple surgeries. You are all making a difference way beyond your friends and family!
    Caroline, a friend of a friend, and also a colleague and friend of John Costello!

  6. Becca March 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm #

    John and Kim, you are both such a blessing in my life! And of course, Jack is as well. I have learned and continue to learn so much about life from you both. Thanks so much for sharing this journey.

  7. Suzanne Alexander March 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm #

    Your constant focus on peace, joy and gratitude are an inspiration to the rest of us also facing challenges – thanks for helping us remember what’s important…Suzanne & Neil (from Pittsburgh)

  8. Walter Burton March 11, 2012 at 12:54 pm #

    John,
    I want to take a moment to thank you! Your job as a care giver, father, bread winner and husband leaves you little time for anything. Your loving care and support of Kim shows an integrity and moral character which runs deep and is model for all.

    Kim,
    You are a example for all. Don’t loose the drive and spark which keeps you going. You have the wealth of family and loving friends who will be with you always. There is little else in life which matters.

    Warmest regards and thoughts,

    Walt

  9. Bonnie Devine March 11, 2012 at 8:42 pm #

    I met you and Kim at Bhakti Bliss and had too few quick conversations, but the impact the two of you have made in my life has been big…very big. We all have to handle life’s battles, and some feel so overwhelming that we want to shut down. Then there are the two of you, wonderful examples of how to value staying grounded and in the moment. Thank you for the opportunity to stay connected. With love, Bonnie

  10. Lara M. March 11, 2012 at 11:45 pm #

    I’m so happy to read your update! I pray for all three of you often, please let me know anytime other ways I can help (and Mike too!). Hoping to see Kim at Child Study this month!

  11. Kim and John March 12, 2012 at 4:26 pm #

    One more thank you to add to this post. Thank you for the encouraging and supportive comments. We are truly blessed by the community of friends we have near and far.

  12. Barb May 18, 2012 at 9:43 pm #

    I love you both so much and am looking forward to being with you shortly . l my ,ove, mom/Bubbie/Grandma/Barb

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